Lonely

Last week I went and visited my family and if I have the time I will pop into a shop in the train station on my way to get a magazine.  I generally pick the one that appeals to me most there's no real thought in it I haven't got the time to really think it through.  This time I grabbed Elle.  I'm really not a magazine reader, I dont wear make up so a lot of the stuff in them is very lost on me.  I do however have a new found love for fashion so there are large sections that are now not lost on me.  It's a good justification to buy it since I can now tell myself I'm not wasting my money as I'm actually interested :)

 
So I'm sat on the train and I flick through to see if there's anything interesting and the first article is on loneliness and it just reading the title feels so close to home that I then have to put my glasses on so I can read it properly!  The article is written by Emily White who is the modern woman, a succesful career and a wonderful flat to herself with nothing really to worry about but she struggles with loneliness.  She has written a book on her experience with this and next time I hit the book store it shall definately be a purchase :)  You can find more information on this here and she has a blog here.

What drew me to read so much was the fact that recently I have really been feeling lonely but I haven't wanted to admit it.  I mean I live in the city centre I have wonderful friends and an amazing life.  I live on my own and I find myself sat in my flat staring out at the city realising how alone I am in my little world.  It really gets me down at times and I really struggle through some times when I'm really feeling it.

A lot of it is due to a three year relationship ending only a few months ago and I miss the closeness that that brings.  I miss the support you get from having someone you can just rely on.  I have friends for this but it's not the same as a manly bear hug that makes you feel like anything in the world could come at you and you can tackle it together.  I have found that life on my own is exponentially harder than life with someone to support you, someone who wont make you feel bad for all the stupid and silly things that you do, someone to take the reins once in a while to take the pressure off.
 

Not being in work means that I have a lot of free time to just sit around and think and to feel lonely.  I do enjoy my freedom and I am enjoying it as I know from september I wont have much or any free time.  Having no work makes me feel like I'm the only one out there who feels like this.  I know I'm not, but when you go out to buy essentials and everyone you see is with someone chatting away and having fun I feel like I'm missing out.  This sounds rediculous but when you get yourself into a certain mindset you end up walking around with blinkers on only seeing what will confirm what you want to think.

It was so uplifting and it felt a little like fate that I had chosen that particular magazine with that particular article in.  It was like the universe was saying hey look your not the only one and reading how she wanted to make it so it wasn't like a taboo topic made me instantly want to write a post on how I felt :)

I have just accepted that I am going to get lonely at times, just like everyone else, but instead of letting it get me down I shall just associate that feeling with wanting to get stuff done.  Keeping myself busy is always a good way to combat something like that, if you're busy you dont have to sit and look out to the world and think I'm lonely.

How do you combat feelings of loneliness?