Taking control

I really wish I could stop time at the moment.  I just want to freeze for a while so I can figure out exactly what I want to do, plan it and then start time again and go through what I want to do.  I want bernards watch!!!! :) BernardsWatch

It would be really nice if this could happen but unfortunately that's not the way life is.

I just feel a little lost.  It sounds strange writing that when I'm sat in my flat, but I just dont know what direction to take myself.  I've just taken in alot of information about the world and people I know recently that makes me feel very sad and almost like there's no point to anything.

I've come to realise though that I have to find my own point to things, my own reason to get on and carry on :)  So I've decided I'm going to start meditating alot more.  I'd like to become more a peace with myself as I really dont feel that I am.  I want to be able to understand myself more, I know that sounds strange and I know I understand myself generally but I do feel that there's more that meditation could open up :)  Also I'm going to start a yoga class on mondays and tai chi on fridays, this will really help with my fitness which is really none existent at the moment.  It makes me feel very bad but it's my own fault I've done nothing for so long, but I'm making up for that now :)

Today I've decided to start a new part of my life, the part where I take total controll of everything that I do rather than waiting for things to happen around me, which I've been doing alot of recently and it feels really good to go this is my life I'm taking it where I want it to go =D

hmmmm it's halloween this weekend I may just have to pop out to the shop and get some bags of sweets (if I buy just one I'll end up eating them all myself and then if someone knocks at the door I wont have anything lol)

This is awesome =D